I am generally more attune to the interesting elements of language or symbolic communication of those around me. However, being a foreigner has shifted my perspective. The nonverbal communication similarities and differences between Americans and Bulgarians have been the most present to me as I am still very ignorant of the language. So here are some of the observations I have made while here in Bulgaria.
Differences:
1. This one is a bit of a mind freak difference and it has quite a list of online articles about it. Bulgarians shake their head for yes and nod for no. You heard me, the exact opposite of Americans and much of the rest of the world. Video of the difference.
This has caused some minor misunderstandings on our part but nothing on the scale of the stories you can find online. Just give it a google and be amazed.
The difficulty of this difference comes to the fore in the classroom. Most of the time they adjust and nod yes for me. But at other times, I have to check twice or even three times to make sure we have understood one another. It is a confusing tension for my brain and it is keeping me on my toes at all times.
2. Same gender closeness. Women of all ages will walk arm-in-arm. I like the thought of being a little girl again and walking arm-in-arm with my friends. Neat that they can do that here without anyone thinking anything about it. Also men stand and sit closer together than we find in America. Closeness just doesn't seem to have a sexual connotation or at least not as much of one.
3. Fathers/Grandfathers more nonverbally engaged with children. I am fascinated by this when I walk by the park on my way to work or lunch. Rather than yelling after the kids when the mother has exhausted herself as I have seen in the US, the men run after the kids, hold their hands, and push them on the swings or the merry-go-round. They also hold their children for purposes other than restraining them or tossing them in the air. The bonding is really beautiful and surprising for the age range. I do see young fathers doing this in the US, but not as much or as naturally as I see here.
4. Students are less territorial. In the US, students tend to claim a seat and stay their most of the semester. If someone makes the mistake of sitting in their spot, they will go through the range of passive-aggressive to aggressive means of informing the interloper of the offense. I have used this tendency in the past to learn my students names quicker. However, students here just aren't that concerned with their space. They move around quite easily, do not seem uncomfortable with the movement, and do not glare at someone who is sitting in the seat they had last class. This has made it a bit difficult to use my usual methods of recognizing students. Adaptation is key to survival and I am moving slowly to adjust.
Similarities:
There are a number of similarities though and I think this is why I feel relatively at home here.
1. Bulgarians, while not as smiley as Americans, do have a polite smile when engaging someone. When you try to speak Bulgarian, they seem pleased at the attempt and smile quite genuinely. They are quick to say that it is really difficult to learn Bulgarian and we are grateful for their indulgence and instruction.
2. Eye contact is expected to show sincerity and honesty. This similarity really does help me feel more comfortable and accepted.
3. Head nod of acknowledge when passing and wave to cars that stop when crossing the street. I was happy that this is done here because I don't even notice that I do these things. I don't think I could stop even if it was rude.
4. Holding the door for someone behind you. They hold the door for about the same distance away as in America. This helps make my days easier so that I am not running into doors or injuring others.
5. General personal space distance. It is about the same here as it is in the US. This helps make the classroom and shopping much more comfortable. Too small of personal space and I would feel crowded and uncomfortable. Too much personal space and I would feel lonely or as if I smelled.
Aside from the head nod/shake issue, the differences are charming and the similarities comforting. I really can't understand why this isn't a bigger tourist destination.
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